The art of lowering your expectations. Nobody tells you there is such a thing. Nobody tells you how to master it. Nobody tells you when is the right time to learn it. And why it is so important.
It is all about reaching high. Dream new dreams, try harder until you succeed or drop dead. Fly high anyway! Fly or die! You are a pilot that does not know how to land, only to take off. What can be more mortifying than being forced to land when you were never taught how to do it?
There is no point, you might think, in telling people (how) they should do less. They are doing too little anyway! They need boosting, not a reality pill! Do not bring people down! Lift them up! Tell them how great they are! If they mess it up eventually, then, of course, you have every right to call them „a failure”. After all, you did your part, you were supportive. If they have not done theirs, they must be losers, right?
The problem with „losers” is that nobody told them when it was the right time to give up their dreams in order to save their reality. Maybe nobody told them why landing could be sometimes the only viable option.
You cannot live your life according to a phantasmagorical system of expectations. You will just end up severely depressed. I think every neurosis is a little bit about pathologically handling your expectations…
In truth, one day you too will be a failure. You know that, of course, but what is the use of anticipating a disaster? When it happens, it happens, you might think. But is it really? Does it really come THAT naturally? And can you take it „like a man”? No. Not unless you know exactly what is happening to you.
No one can „simply” fail. Failing is not natural, failing it is not „bad luck”, failing is your perception on your own standards of action and achievement process. Therefore, failing correctly is, before anything else, a self-awareness exercise. Failing without notice is not only traumatic, it is STUPID. You should have thought that one through…
Do I suggest we should hope less? Should we „downgrade” our dreams? No. I only plead for a little less ideology when it comes to understanding optimism and positive thinking. Honor your highest dreams by not expecting them to happen just because „they have to”. They do not have to. They just happen to.
Personally, I think there is no greater art in life that the art of managing your failings. Meanwhile, keep calm and fly a little lower. Between your failings and your ideals there’s still some decent life to live.
(Foto: linkedin.com)
